Nightline recently aired a debate between some fat women and some thin women and called the piece “Is it OK to be fat?” You can find the episode here.
I watched this program incredulously. What the hell do those wackos at Nightline mean? Is it ok to be fat? What? That question goes right up there with, “is it ok to play in traffic?”, “Is sharing heroine needles really that bad?”, and my favorite “is it really ok to sleep with several multiple partners without a condom?”. Stay tuned for those Nightline episodes; I’m sure they’ll be riveting.
Must I say the obvious? Of course it’s not ok to be fat!
Now, before you jump up from your computer and point a finger at me screaming “biggot!”, settle down there. Take a good look at me. I’m not wearing a pointy white hat. If you look closely you’ll see that I’m fat. Granted, I’m less fat than I was three and a half months ago, but honestly. I promise you. I’m fat.
Dont get me wrong. If what Nightline is really asking is “is it ok to discriminate” against fat people, then come on. That’s another stupid question. Don’t be silly. It’s not ok to point and snicker at an obese person. It’s not ok to fire someone, or refuse to hire someone, or promote them, just because they’re fat. That just makes you a jerk.
But is it ok to charge an extremely fat person more money for an extra airline seat if he or she can’t actually fit into one seat? Of course! That’s not discrimination, people. That’s common sense. You pay for what you use. Why should it ever be otherwise? What does it matter why I’m using the extra seat? Whether it’s for my infant? Or for me to stretch my legs out? If I’m using two seats, I’m paying for two seats.
Is it ok to judge a fat person as unworthy? Well, not any more than it’s ok to judge a person as unworthy because he’s blind, or deaf, or gay, or a Jew, or African American. And unless you’re a card carrying member of the KKK, then I don’t think you can really dispute this point. Now that we’ve resolved that it’s never ok to discriminate against a fat person, let’s revisit the question Nightline asks in this piece.
Is it ok to be fat? Is this really a question we need to ask? Before I set out on my diet back in November, I was an enormous 75 pounds overweight. I was, and incidentally still am, clinically obese. I’m working to change that. Why? Mostly because being fat is unhealthy, although I won’t deny that being skinnier also makes me feel better because I look better. But here are some health issues that personally plagued me at a mere 75 pounds overweight: sleep disturbance, snoring, difficulty breathing, asthma, sudden growth of a renegade right boob (due to rapid weight gain, scout’s honor), acid reflux, and highish cholesterol. Let’s not even discuss the fact that two years ago, at 38 and newly divorced, I consulted my doctor about the possibility of having a baby with just me, a bottle of mysterious sperm and a turkey baster. You know what he said? Lose weight!
Why? Because getting pregnant at 75 pounds overweight is a recipe for disaster. Heavier women develop all kinds of weight related issues while pregnant. It’s a fact. So is it “ok” to be 75 pounds overweight and get pregnant? I don’t know. Is it ok to invite gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and fetal morbidity into your pregnancy?
Of course, I’m well aware that women who are overweight do get pregnant, and they do have babies. Often everything turns out just fine. But it would be easier, and better, and healthier for both baby and mom if obesity were not an issue. That cannot be disputed.
Watching the heavier women on this Nightline program argue that being “fat” didn’t mean they were unhealthy was disturbing. I mean, I think it’s kind of a forgone conclusion that when you’re obese you’re going to have some health issues.
This doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you a person at risk for health issues. It’s pretty simple. I think the women arguing that “being fat doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy” were confusing “unhealthy” with “unlikeable”. Being fat doesn’t mean you’re bad. It doesn’t mean you’re ugly. It doesn’t mean people should dislike you. It doesn’t mean that people should treat you like shit.
But it does mean that you’re at risk for heart disease, respiratory and vascular issues and I’m sure a whole host of others I’m not thinking of right now. So from a health stand point, it’s certainly not ok to be fat. I’d venture to say that anyone who argues this point is mired in a heap of denial.
That kind of denial is something I understand all too well, so I know it when I see it. It’s still hard for me to look that label “obese” straight in the eye and embrace it as one that defines me. But it does. I understand, on a deeply intimate level the desire to argue that being fat is ok. But I won’t jump on that bullshit bandwagon.
No one is saying you have to be “thin”, least of all me. No one is suggesting that everyone ought to be eating 1000 calories a day, or that everyone should weigh 115 pounds. What is clear, though, is that if you’ve hit that magical number on the scale that makes you “clinically obese” then you’ve got some work to do. I know I do.
Being fat doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself, and it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be loved. It means you’re not perfect. Welcome to the human race. I’m fat. I know it. I’m changing it one day at a time. And that, my friends, is what’s ok.




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