Six reasons why adults suck

Mar 30, 2010 by     22 Comments    Posted under: Life

I don’t like hanging out with grown-ups.

Grown-ups suck. Which is exactly the reason why I am dating a younger guy, and it feels normal. I wasn’t looking for somebody younger, it came as a blessing to remind my brain of the normal state of things. Hanging out with my boyfriend brings out the acute realization of how horribly pathetic adult aspirations are.

Adults inevitably do the following things:

1. They think that you are both ridiculous and illegal for being serious about what turns you on. They think, you got some nerve. They expect you to be diseased. They also expect you to fail.
2. They insist on flooding you with a painful stream of inspirational statements that hint familiarity with the latest buzzwords but reek of desperation.
3. They use each other. It includes you.
4. They try to sell you things that you don’t need. It makes them feel important.
5. They suppress their instincts and impulses so as not to be labeled as needy.
6. They write pathetic white papers on Gen Y.

What a carousel of leprosy.

Adult hearts are stitched with compromises, their robotic circles are Dante’s Inferno. Confused, tired, spiteful, convinced of their righteousness, so lovably unhappy and so legitimately frustrated.

Oh and – the moment you start thinking it’s okay to do any those things, you become one of them.

I remember very well the state of my mind when I was fifteen and when I was the shit. The new generation, the promise of the bright future. I remember very well my first office job, the desire to “play an adult” and how it sucked me in. I remember the pain of untangling myself from the trap, the guilt, the must-dos. “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger”. Social pressure. Hanging out with the settle-downs. Mommy-let-me-out!!!!!!

The difference between a child and an adult is that for the child, there is no timeline. Death is a myth, and the undo button is readily available. Adults know better. Adults have problems. Adults seek out guidelines, tools, philosophies, and techniques.

To me, it’s not about hot bodies (although I welcome those as passionately as you can possibly imagine). It is about shiny eyes.

It is not about mantras, it is not about the law of attraction, it is not about attending seminars. It is about….that thing that you have, remembering that sky above your head, your favorite song and your best friend.

Sometimes I have to slap myself out of adult patterns. I, the brave soul, catch myself thinking horrible dull thoughts that make me want to puke in the aftermath.

By the way, I don’t blame or condemn grown-ups, I am just deadly scared to be like them.

I understand – but I don’t want to. I, too, have been hurt by surprise more than you can imagine. I have watched those reflexes in slow motion. I know how to look upon the world with the eyes of a chased animal. But see, once you start acting like a chased animal, the world catches up to it and starts suiting you. I don’t know about you, I’d rather be ridiculous.

22 Comments + Add Comment

  • I’d rather be ridiculous, too. Your post reminds me of why I sit on mountains in button-down shirts. Love your blogging. Keep it happenin…

  • …interesting insight.

  • Here’s two simple words to avoid the pitfalls of adulthood: “What if?”

  • Brilliant!

  • Thank you!

  • your list of 6 is pretty lame. if u wanna make a list, why don’t you tell us 10 things u know, that other musicians can’t comprehend like you can, making you superior.

  • Steve, you put a smile on my face, thank you. But see, with musicians, superiority is not about comprehension, so it wouldn’t work! :)

  • Nice blog, Lena. This reminds me of why I love you so much, even though we still have the reality to discover.

    It’s just so complicated, Lena, staying young at heart. Everybody (and I mean ‘everybody’) is trying to do it. But the pain of heartbreak, and the sorrow of failure can sap that life right out of a person, and it takes a certain ‘maturity’ to get it back. What you are seeing are the failed attempts of people to find their way back.

    I see myself as a happy child at heart. But that child had to become a bitter old man, and ‘then’ fight his way back. It’s worth the trip, because once you know the bitterness in it’s vile and confining detail, you can see it coming from others who are still down there. These people don’t bother my inner child- I know where they are at. So complicated, Lena ..

    But I’ll do whatever I can to protect ‘your’ inner child .. it helps keep me smiling at the sea, the moon, and at the birds that fly so free.

    Bill xox

  • Thank you, Bill!

  • You are so full of yourself it’s sad. I dare you to come back and read this in 20 years. How very unkind you are to the millions of people you never met.

    Perhaps you get from people, young or old, exactly what you deserve.

  • @T: I, as well as everybody else under the sun, get from people exactly what I ask for / deserve / need. Probably same goes for you, no? And of course I am full of myself – who else can I possibly be full of? If truth hurts, doesn’t mean it’s best to paint it with fluffy colors or talk about how life is hard. I don’t like this thing in me, I don’t like this thing in others. :)

  • You have a lot of clever excuses but it still won’t play.

    • T, your criticism would be more effective if you actually made some point instead of an amorphous attack, but right now you just appear to be trolling.

      • Excuse me, but the blogger appears to be insulting. Broadly insulting. Trolls have no dignity, and neither is there any to be found here. I will leave it at that.

        • T, let me know if you want a politically correct response from me or a humanly sincere one. In either case, sending you love ;-)

  • Since you have asked, I will respond. I don’t believe there is anything humane or sincere about you. As I said in my original post, you have condemned millions of people you don’t even know. Sorry for being so PC! A few years ago I buried my father. Soon i will bury my mother. Should I lean over her bed and say “You know, I have been in a conversation with a young lady, and here are 6 reasons why you suck.” She, my father, and your forefathers in Russia liberated this world when they were young. But then they committed the sin on surviving all that, and growing up and growing old. How foolish of them! Did they have their faults? Of course they did. Do you have faults? None to compare with their’s! Or mine. Many of my dear friends died of AIDS, one of them only 25 years old. How fortunate for him. He didn’t have to grow up to disappoint you! But what an education i have received after visiting your blog. I have seen the future. It is you. You refuse to accept that you have misspoken, and refuse to apologize. You are conceited, self-promoting and void of any dignity. And you are certainly old enough to know better. You say you don’t like this thing in yourself, then paint the whole world with what you don’t like. I took offense at this injustice, which is only natural. But then of course I am the one who is inhumane, I am the one who is deluded. No, my friend. You are wrong. There is only one way to avoid becoming an adult, and i don’t suggest you do that. What I do suggest is that you apologize, and become a better person for it. Then instead of being full of yourself, you can be full of your better nature, full of your heart. There is only one person who can win this argument, and that is you. But there is only one way you can do it, and I fear you are not woman enough to do it. You will not hear from me again. And you may not hear again from anyone who is sincere, and that will be the thanks you get for being so unfair.

  • T: my dear, you are drawing your conclusions without knowing who I am, what I do, what I think, and I am not going to try to prove myself by referring to the difficulties I had to overcome, I don’t think you care and I certainly don’t care to exhibit them.

    I am sorry about your losses. You should be proud of your parents, and you don’t need me or anybody else to tell you it’s a honorable thing to do.

    I am very proud of my grandparents who fought in the war. Always was, always will be.

    I disagree with your tone or with your taking pride in pain and losses, but luckily, that’s why you are you and I am me – we can disagree all we want and walk our own roads in peace. Hang in there.

    And you are absolutely correct – it’s probably best to stop this exchange. I am a woman enough to expect respect. Bashing is for angry people. Peace, darling.

  • I suppose I can see why someone might feel defensive reading Lena’s blogs.

    This particular one is a critique of certain human behaviors and firmly held beliefs and reactions to our world that people hold onto as if it is a virtue… because they have “grown up”.

    As a mom, I have learned a lot about life from my 3 year old. Sure, he hasn’t fought in wars or raised a family, and he is completely full of himself… and he teaches me that to improve the world, we all can embrace that side to us that is light and fun.

    If everything written was 100% supportive toward all human behavior, how would we learn anything?

    Even in death we can appreciate a life well lived instead of focusing on what has been lost, but generally we do both, because there is room for both emotions.

    Some days, I might feel inspired to write a blog entitled “6 reasons kids suck”. That wouldn’t mean that I hate or disrespect children, or can’t appreciate their important role in the world.

    I don’t think the author is condemning adults, just saying that hanging out with people who strive to be ADULTS can be a major, depressing negative drag.

    My guess is that face to face with a human who is suffering with the heaviness of being an adult, she doesn’t spit in their face. Most likely, she shines love on them, as she has with this “T” person.

    love Karen, one of Lenas fans!

  • Karen: Wow, thank you. Wow.

    I was very tempted to post a link to my domestic abuse blog (in my personal blog, not here) in response to T, but it would feel like parading my wounds which is something I don’t like doing. Wounds are for learning and healing, not for parading. That was my whole point. And yes, kids are amazing. I have been thinking about it a lot – why kids are so unafraid and adults so tired. Living takes a toll yes, but I really suspect that it’s self-betrayal that makes living heavy. Blah, blah, blah. And no, I don’t spit on suffering adults. :) In fact, it’s crazy how I focus on people’s pain, I try not to do that because people are stronger than they seem. I think.

  • what a brilliant point of view! i can dig it. rock on

  • Thank you Nando. Back at ya

  • Lena, I totally hear you about adults. In fact I found your blog by doing a random search for hatred of adults, since I share similar sentiments. Sure it’s a bit generalizing but it’s not that I hate all adults. I hate certain characteristics that a lot of them portray that I had to deal with for a greater portion of my life and I hope to God that I never ever attain them. The only thing I must disagree with in one of your replies is how you said that wounds are only for dealing and healing but not parading. Hell if something really bothers or angers you, you should parade all you want! Hell that’s what I would do and if my friends don’t want to hear it then they are not my friends. Sure there is a limit to this but imo venting/parading is a very important step in the healing process. Anyway before this gets too long and preachy (and adult-like :) ), I’ll just say I’m very glad I found your blog as well as someone with whom I can relate.

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