Jeff Kreisler tells you how to get ahead in America

Categorized | Culture, Economy, Politics

Jeff Kreisler tells you how to get ahead in America

Posted on12 October 2009. Tags: American society, Ann Coulter topless, Bill Hicks, Deception, Five Questions, Get Rich Cheating, Jeff Kreisler, Len Bias, My Wall Street Journal, What Shankbone is reading

Jeff Kreisler Get Rich Cheating

“You are poor. No matter what you do, where you live, whom you love, or even how much money you have, you are poor. Poor, poor, poor.” — Jeff Kreisler, Get Rich Cheating

How in the hell did America end up with an award-winning comedian with classic good looks tearing at society’s deceptions and the looting of the public’s coffers?

With his new book Get Rich Cheating, Jeff Kreisler–executive editor of My Wall Street Journal and syndicated columnist for TheStreet.com–is l’enfant terrible of finance. As the recipient of the Bill Hicks Spirit Award for Thought Provoking Comedy and a writer for Comedy Central’s Indecision2008, he has a lot to get off his chest about the direction of American society. Amongst other things, you will discover how to:

Get huge government bailouts, blow them on private jets, and come back for more
Exploit family, friends, employees, the desperate, the weak, and the dumb
Take advantage of society’s indifference, ignorance, and celebrity bling worship

“I think it came from that old sense of ‘if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry,’” the Princeton, Exeter, and Virginia Law-educated Kreisler told Boston Comedy about his motivation for the book.

It’s not just the financial corridors of power that Kreisler takes aim at: it’s the wider sense that in the United States the only way to get ahead is to game, cheat and pilfer the system.

“You’ve got Bernie Madoff, Rod Blagojevich, steroid scandals. Everywhere you look, when there’s a fortune there’s cheating behind it. Every time you open the paper there’s more news,” said Kreisler.

Below are my five questions for one of the good guns, a comedian who fights evil:

Ann Coulter Topless Jeff Kreisler My Wall Street Journal

Kreisler's My Wall Street Journal, a parody of the paper, raised the hackles of News Corp. with its topless Ann Coulter (click photo)

What is one thing you think every American should know?

That listening to the ideas of others doesn’t make us weak. It actually makes us strong.

If you had the option to have been born another nationality than your current one, which nationality would you choose?

Australian. Nice weather, good arts, fun accent, big lobsters.

What is one misconception people have about you?

That I’m going to turn everything everyone says into a joke. I’m not. I like you, but I’m not using you for material.

Is there anyone’s death, either in your life or in popular culture, whose passing you were surprised by how profoundly it affected you?

Len Bias, a University of Maryland basketball star drafted by the Boston Celtics in 1986. I was a teenager, in the height of my sports-is-everything phase and, though wasn’t a Celtics fan, I lived in Massachusetts, so I was surrounded by ‘em. He died from a cocaine overdose, ending his journey right when a lifetime of hard work was about to pay off. While I’ve done my share of “experimenting,” I’ve never touched cocaine, and I’m pretty sure his death is the reason why. In a more positive way, I’ve also tried to appreciate every precious accomplishment knowing that it could be taken away in an instant. His death was one of the earliest of many events to teach me that lesson.

In life we often have goals that we feel as if would just die if we don’t reach them. Sometimes we reach them, sometimes we don’t. The question is, have you ever worked to fulfill a goal, only to find that once you achieved it, the experience was a let down? It meant something to you when you did not have it. Then you obtained it and, after the initial excitement, you thought to yourself, “Is that all there is?” Have you ever had an experience like that?

Ha. All the time. My career, my life, has been a series of projects – rather than one steady job, I’ve gone from opportunity to opportunity, throwing myself into it and hoping that it works out. From political comedy tours during elections, to an original live sitcom/sketch show for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, an off-Broadway show I worked on, to “Get Rich Cheating,” I’ve done some incredible things, and gotten some fantastic critical feedback… BUT, each time there’s a part of me that says “I want more. Yeah, it’s nice that this turned out great, but what’s next? Praise and a few sales are nice, but I want someone to give me a bigger, better, easier project. Now!” This is how things go for me: Hard work, expended energy, excitement, “success,” let down. I’m okay with it.

I’ve learned to temper the downs of the roller coaster ride by managing my expectations. I always tell myself, “Aim for the stars, but be happy with the moon.” It’s important to want to improve and do better, to strive for greatness, but it’s equally important to appreciate and enjoy each unique moment that I’ve been fortunate enough to create.

FIVE QUESTIONS – A SERIES

Gerald Posner – Bane of Kennedy conspiracy theorists, white shoe lawyer, Chief Investigative Reporter for The Daily Beast…I have five questions for you.
Bebe Buell – Artist, musician, scenester and lover; mother of Liv Tyler; embodiment of a rock era…I have five questions for you.
Evan Wolfson – founder of the modern gay marriage movement…I have five questions for you.
Jimmy Wales – Citizen of the world, sage to millions of editors of Wikipedia, which he founded…I have five questions for you.
Billy Name – Famous Warhol live-in photographer; silverized the Factory; shot the cover of the Velvet Underground’s eponymous album; iconic portraits of Lou Reed and Edie Sedgwick…I have five questions for you.