Yesterday morning former model and downtown lounge chanteuse Lisa Levy (of Psychotherapy Live! ), Little Man and I were on The People’s Court. I thought to bring my camera to do photography for Wikipedia, but then decided against it. I assumed that the use of any recording devices and cameras is verboten. That doesn’t usually stop me from trying, but I also had Little Man with me and I didn’t want to worry about him, expensive camera equipment and my part on the this reality television show.
The Case – Claire Lieb vs. Waggytail Rescue
Waggytail Rescue is a Chihuahua rescue organization that I fostered and adopted dogs through. It’s run by one of my best friends, Holly DeRito, who is well known in New York City dog circles for tireless and selfless dedication to saving dogs. The dogs Waggytail takes in–mostly Chihuahua mixes–are rescued from kill shelters. There is a flat $250 adoption fee that is a donation. Waggytail barely makes ends meet. They often cover gargantuan medical bills to get animals to a point where they are healthy and can be adopted. One 14 pound dog I fostered had been raped anally by a man. Kill shelters don’t take care of these kinds of medical bills; they just kill the dog.
The dogs are traumatized if not by abuse, then certainly by the experience at the shelter, which reeks of death and sounds of anguish to a dog. When a person adopts a dog, it is not a commercial transaction. Most people get this.
Claire Lieb adopted Waggytail dog Chiquita, and signed an adoption agreement with short, easy to understand representations. One stipulated she was making a donation, not buying a dog. A dog rescue is a place people go to find a pet that somebody else hurt, didn’t love or irretrievably lost. Ms. Lieb and Chiquita didn’t work out, so two weeks later Ms. Lieb returned the dog. Waggytail offered to help find a new dog, but Ms. Lieb apparently discovered a “free” dog through a friend and so she wanted her donation back. Waggytail refused; Ms. Lieb sued.
The People’s Court scene
Ms. Lieb was a sight to behold. I would not have been surprised if she didn’t make it through the night. Her ill-fitting wig was gray and bulbous, like a hair hat. The crackling sparkle of the polyester was jarringly juxtaposed atop a face so chaotically caked with make-up that it didn’t look as if Ms. Lieb applied it, but instead fell face-first into it. The woman she was accompanied with, though, wore none and had the figure of a hockey player.
The most fascinating part of this Anthropology project was her eye-make up. Large swathes both under and over each eye, as if she had taken 1960′s robin’s egg blue eye shadow on the her index finger and thumb and then rubbed at her eyes to smash the make-up into her face. At one point when she looked up quickly, angered, she resembled a celestial baglady raccoon.
Ms. Lieb was also not the only Lady of the People’s Court with an ill-fitting wig. It was a great discovery: People still wear wigs! It was awesome!
Lisa Levy, who is heavily involved in Waggytail, had Holly’s Power of Attorney and represented our side. Little Man was there as a Waggytail dog on behalf of Chiquita (the dog Claire Lieb did not want). I was a witness, but there was no need to call me to testify about the adoption process. It was an open-and-shut case: you can’t expect to receive a charitable donation back. A dog rescue is not a commercial enterprise.
The one dramatic episode in our case was that we didn’t have the signed adoption agreement that she signed – it was at Holly’s mother’s house in Pennsylvania where she stored Waggytail records last month, not thinking she would need any of them urgently. So Judge Marilyn Milian was angry about that. She even called a recess!
When we went back, I told Lisa we have to give them some more theater. “Give them some crazy” and “think Ricki Lake” and “nobody’s watching daytime TV”. It’s supposed to be entertainment as well as arbitration. So Lisa went back and started bang-bang-banging her hand on the podium when she spoke with an emotionally shaky voice! It was excellent. Judge Marilyn told her to “take it down a notch.” It was great.
People in the audience were asking whether Little Man is available for adoption. And the bailiff, Douglas Macintosh was really hot.
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